Many have wronged me these last few weeks. I have seen rank hypocrisy and a rejection of God's truth on a greater scale than I have ever witnessed. But honestly, am "I" any better? We have ALL fallen short of God's standards. Yet in our very act of worship, we can become the most reviled in God's eyes. "I thank you God that I am not like that tax collector over there." See Luke 18:9-14. How quickly one who is striving to be close to God, apparently doing the right thing, can show just how much they fail to grasp the Gospel. In an instant, a man who has rejected God all his life can become at once, right with his Creator. Tragically, the reverse, can happen just as fast. We are fallen, we are broken, and we carry that brokenness around with us like dog poo stuck in the grooves of the soles of our shoes. We don't see it, but if we step out of the draft of God's Spirit, we will sure know it's there, as will everyone else.

Today I find myself in a position where I have been wronged, and am being wronged, with such severity, and by people who are NOT outside of our great family of believers, that it is hard to reconcile their deeds, no, it is impossible to reconcile their deeds with what I know, they know, of God and His truth. Yet I keep asking myself, "am I really any different?" How many times have I purposefully gone against God's Word. How many times have I broken God's law. How many times have I told God He has me, when I know He really doesn't. How many times have I said I would follow, when I know I really won't?

For instance. I have never been pulled over for speeding in all my life. Is that because I don't ever speed, or because I am intensely more observant than most people, and spot the radar setup long before it spots me? We just love to hide behind our "successes", our goodness, our "?holiness?". Don't we.

My friend's grandmother is a probation officer. I was at a court the other day, there was man who's case was being heard. He had broken his bond payments, the judge showed no mercy, he was handcuffed and led away. It was actually a really sad thing to watch. I don't know what he had done, they never mentioned that, but the thought came to my mind, how long would we spend in jail if all the laws we had broken, we were actually caught for. My friend's grandmother says the same thing. That we'd all be in jail, except for the fact that most of us just never get caught. But there is the lie of the enemy, because we do get caught. We ARE caught. And one day every single one of us will stand before a judge and have to answer for all the laws of God we have broken. This is why we need to stop judging, and start forgiving. To stop our condemnation, and offer reconciliation. To turn our arrogance into love. Not a single one of us is blameless, and the moment we think we are, is the very moment we no longer are.

There are those around who seem to have it altogether. The truth always exposes us though. One way or another we MUST admit our own brokenness, our own weakness, our own need for deliverance at the foot of a blood stained cross. Each one of us has missed the mark, fallen short of God's standards. We must stop blaming each other for the faults of this fallen cursed world and realize the true enemy of our souls. Because when we apportion blame and become set on revenge and the downfall of another, we simply set a snare that will ultimately trap not just another child of God, but our own selves.

So I offer my apologies. I'm sorry that I let you all down. I'm sorry I miss the mark. I'm sorry that I have not lived up to the required standard. In my defense, I have little to offer. I simply ask for your forgiveness and your prayers that God would not abandon me, but continue to mold me into the man He wants and needs me to be. God knows I did not cause this pain on purpose, I pray you will know this.

And so to you all, I extend forgiveness. For all the ways you have contributed to ripping me to pieces publicly and privately, and sometimes even with a grin on your face, I forgive you. For the gossip and the slander, I forgive you. For the lies and false accusations and twisting of half-truths, I forgive you. For using my public confessions against me, I forgive you. I love you, and I forgive you. I forgive you. I forgive you. I forgive you. I pray for your well-being, your shalom. I really really do.

I have had a few people write me the most condemning, hate-filled slanderous crap imaginable (all in love of course), and I'm pretty confident this post itself will earn me a few more, because some just can't reconcile my words here with their belief of who I really am. But if you don't believe what I write here in full public view, on permanent record, that's ok, I'm not writing it to convince you of anything, but do know that I love you too, and I forgive you too. I forgive you to release you and me from the bondage of unforgiveness, by releasing you from your wrongs against me.

I...
forgive...
you...


May you find the grace to do likewise. In the deepest part of your soul, may you hear the echo of Calvary, "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do." Let us remember His Grace, His mercy, His forgiveness and unconditional love for us, and do likewise to the people that slam nails into our own wrists.

Shalom be with you.