It's funny isn't, how we so often need to rely on God just to get through each day. One way I do, is in social interaction. Now, this is something I have had to explain to a few people lately, so I thought I would tell everybody on my blog, since I bet many others feel the same way, and although I do not have a solution, it can be at least very comforting to know that someone else has the same struggles as you do.

So this is very revealing. I have a social anxiety complex. In other words, I find it extremely difficult to make new friends because one of the hardest things for me to do, is be with others in a social setting where I don't know anyone, or only know one or two. The fear of this scenario is more than enough to keep me from going to social gatherings, parties, cell groups, even Church, for fear that I will look like Nigel-no-friends, and end up walking out and going home to read a book, simply because I am unable to just walk up to someone and start a conversation with someone I don't know.

For some of you, this would seem crazy. Just walk up to someone and introduce yourself, you might say. Well, if only it was that easy. For me, there's a strange paradox here. You see, I am gifted by God to communicate "Him" to a hurting world. I can stand up in front of any number of people, let it be 10 or 10,000 and speak about Him. When I do this, I am in my element. I am at home. I feel so comfortable talking about God, that I would give up anything to be able to do just that. I just love it. So there lies the paradox. How can I get up in front of hundreds and speak without even getting an adrenaline rush, and yet to be invited over to a gathering of 6-10 people strikes such incredible fear in my heart. Honestly, I don't know.

What I do know is that the fear is very real. What I also know is that others feel this same way. Ok, maybe God has not gifted you to speak in front of hundrds, but you still know what it's like to have this crazy fear of being around people you don't know. And it has this other side effect, some people will think you're just weird. Been there, done that, got the T-Shirt. Who is this Israel guy? Know one really knows him. He never seems to talk to anyone. Is he just here to perve on the girls? LOL. Hey, I might laugh, but it's my first-hand experience. I have been left out of things, purposefully not invited, seen as weird slash mysterious, all because of an inability to make new friends. Making friends is a powerful social skill that some of us just don't have. And those that can, just don't understand what it's like to not have such an ability. A Pastor I knew once would always say, if you don't have any friends, it's your own fault, just start being friendly. Sigh. Sometimes those without a pastor's heart end up being Pastors.

But wait, it gets worse. So someone spots Mr Nigel-no-friends and feels they should go talk to them. Hi, you're Israel right? Israel then launches into a breakdown of the Torah's sacrificial requirements of the Messiah and why the crucifixion had to happen the way it did and why the Jewish High Priests........ LOL... Yes, great way to make a new friend Israel. So I go from no conversation to an intensity that is sure to just freak out all but the most gifted Pastoral-hearted individuals :) Those of you that know me are probably grinning from ear to ear by now, if not rolling around on the floor laughing. Yep, that's our Israel :)

So if I can't give others that suffer from this, any solution, at least know that you're not alone! It's something I have struggled with my entire life. For me, there's little more challenging in life than making a new friend. I would rather chew on razor blades. Be my friend though, and watch someone who knows how to be truly loyal and keep absolute confidence. I generally find that the few friends I have are fiercely loyal to me once they have seen who I truly am.

If I don't have a solution to those that suffer from this, then allow me to give advice to those that do not. Keep an eye out for Nigel-no-friends. Walk up to him/her and introduce yourself. Smile. Make them feel welcome, comfortable, and most of all, un-judged. Don't be afraid of their intensity. Encourage them and let them know you want to get to know them better, and actually mean it, and do something practical about it. I try to do this to others as much as possible, that I spot, that are in the same boat as me. One tell-tale sign, is a person that only seems to hang around with older people, or their superiors. Go up to that person and invite them to join your group for lunch. Keep them by your side, and include them in your conversations. Make them feel part of the group.

I am very blessed that there's a couple of guys in my life right now that have befriended me, and are always inviting me to hang out with them, and they even come over just to hang out with me. That makes me feel very special, and is helping me come out of my shell. Thanks guys! I really appreciate it.

So if you're one that has no trouble making friends, look out for the Israels in this world who do. Not only might you radically change a life without much effort at all, you'll be doing this all to Jesus, who said clearly, that what you do to the very least of mine, you've done to me. Let's make sure Jesus is invited next time.

Shalom!