Through Pain, Shalom.
The past year, 2007, has without any
doubt been the hardest of my life. And in the truest sense of
irony, the previous year was unquestionably the very best year of
my life. I have learnt many lessons. I began by responding to
certain circumstances in the most Godly way, only to lower myself
and begin responding in a manner not worthy of my calling. To my
friends I offer my apologies for that. Life's lessons never
cease.
I recall Joyce Meyer once asking God why she was going through so much crap in her life when she believed God had shown her big amazing things for her life. God answered like this. Joyce, you asked for a lot, its going to cost you something, do you want it or not? Sometimes I feel way to familiar with that. In looking at the lives of so many people that have made a difference in their world, the price has usually been very very high. Greatness does not come without first going through the lowest of places and finding humility and selflessness. Only then, can God raise a man to great heights. And even then, it is His prerogative alone to do so. And He may not, but we can't allow that to hold us back us from a worthy obedience.
In the last few weeks, things have been seriously looking up. I met a person that God has given the same unique missions-vision as I have. This was exciting and inspiring. I have since taken the time to explain this unique concept in a flow chart diagram. If you're involved in missions or would be interested in helping to fund something very unique and very effective, ask me to send this to you.
I feel a lot lighter than I have in recent months. My prayer life that had seriously suffered, is again something I look forward to. The pain and the sorrow was all too real, yet it has taught me much. Much about the love of Christ for us. Much about Grace. About finding God in the midst of real pain. About how very few people are really your friends when it comes to the crunch. About how we in the ministry so often just pass those that are hurting over to some program or course instead of offering them what they really need, love, acceptance, belonging. And then in the most bitter reversal of the Gospel, it is God's own people, not the world, that rejects the love of our Lord and shuns and rejects, causing all the more pain and hurt. This, I have experienced first hand. It makes me embarrassed to say I am a Christian. Embarrassed about Jesus. oh no! Never. Embarrassed of others who call themselves, His.
If you have not read what I recently put on the front page of this site, let me paste it here for you.
I am not a Christian, I am simply one who has discovered there is a God that loves me and sent His Son Yeshua, Jesus, to this earth to teach us how we should live and give us hope for a future lived in harmony with Him through His perfect sacrifice. I find most who call themselves Christians to be the most horrible unconscionable people I meet. For the last several years I have associated almost exclusively with people in the "Church", and it has nearly killed me. In the last few months, I have associated almost exclusively with non-Christians, and it has truly been a revelatory experience. It has been a real eye opener. Indeed, I have found most non-believers to be walking through life in a closer image of how Jesus told us to love one another than many many believers I have met. Of course, there always exceptions.
I believe that.
I like your Christ.
I don’t like your Christians.
They are so unlike your Christ.
Ghandi
OK, this post is not turning into a Western Christian bashing post. Just read Tozer, Keith Green or others for that. I do feel though that I understand Ghandi's perspective in a new, real, first-hand way. If I shared my pain with a Christian, the response was usually something like, "You know God has a perfect plan for your life. Can I pray for you?" From non-believers I would usually get something like, "man, that's crap. Do you want to hang out on Wednesday? You know if you ever need anything..." And so I don't want this label anymore. "Christian". I want to be free from the labels. I AM free from the labels. I want to lean against the Lord as Peter did at Passover and just relax in the depth of that security. That's where it's found. Not in prayers, not in the Bible, not in Theology, but in Jesus. In Him. In Him. Its so simple, yet all my life, I have tried to understand this and failed, until now.
More later, I need to go...
I recall Joyce Meyer once asking God why she was going through so much crap in her life when she believed God had shown her big amazing things for her life. God answered like this. Joyce, you asked for a lot, its going to cost you something, do you want it or not? Sometimes I feel way to familiar with that. In looking at the lives of so many people that have made a difference in their world, the price has usually been very very high. Greatness does not come without first going through the lowest of places and finding humility and selflessness. Only then, can God raise a man to great heights. And even then, it is His prerogative alone to do so. And He may not, but we can't allow that to hold us back us from a worthy obedience.
In the last few weeks, things have been seriously looking up. I met a person that God has given the same unique missions-vision as I have. This was exciting and inspiring. I have since taken the time to explain this unique concept in a flow chart diagram. If you're involved in missions or would be interested in helping to fund something very unique and very effective, ask me to send this to you.
I feel a lot lighter than I have in recent months. My prayer life that had seriously suffered, is again something I look forward to. The pain and the sorrow was all too real, yet it has taught me much. Much about the love of Christ for us. Much about Grace. About finding God in the midst of real pain. About how very few people are really your friends when it comes to the crunch. About how we in the ministry so often just pass those that are hurting over to some program or course instead of offering them what they really need, love, acceptance, belonging. And then in the most bitter reversal of the Gospel, it is God's own people, not the world, that rejects the love of our Lord and shuns and rejects, causing all the more pain and hurt. This, I have experienced first hand. It makes me embarrassed to say I am a Christian. Embarrassed about Jesus. oh no! Never. Embarrassed of others who call themselves, His.
If you have not read what I recently put on the front page of this site, let me paste it here for you.
I am not a Christian, I am simply one who has discovered there is a God that loves me and sent His Son Yeshua, Jesus, to this earth to teach us how we should live and give us hope for a future lived in harmony with Him through His perfect sacrifice. I find most who call themselves Christians to be the most horrible unconscionable people I meet. For the last several years I have associated almost exclusively with people in the "Church", and it has nearly killed me. In the last few months, I have associated almost exclusively with non-Christians, and it has truly been a revelatory experience. It has been a real eye opener. Indeed, I have found most non-believers to be walking through life in a closer image of how Jesus told us to love one another than many many believers I have met. Of course, there always exceptions.
I believe that.
I like your Christ.
I don’t like your Christians.
They are so unlike your Christ.
Ghandi
OK, this post is not turning into a Western Christian bashing post. Just read Tozer, Keith Green or others for that. I do feel though that I understand Ghandi's perspective in a new, real, first-hand way. If I shared my pain with a Christian, the response was usually something like, "You know God has a perfect plan for your life. Can I pray for you?" From non-believers I would usually get something like, "man, that's crap. Do you want to hang out on Wednesday? You know if you ever need anything..." And so I don't want this label anymore. "Christian". I want to be free from the labels. I AM free from the labels. I want to lean against the Lord as Peter did at Passover and just relax in the depth of that security. That's where it's found. Not in prayers, not in the Bible, not in Theology, but in Jesus. In Him. In Him. Its so simple, yet all my life, I have tried to understand this and failed, until now.
More later, I need to go...